This is a problem common to many of our friends. Once you are a year or two into marriage, most phone calls to India end with questions like “when are you giving us the good news ?” or “when are we having our grand child ?”

It seems that everyone back home is in a hurry to be done with the responsibilities of being a good parent, which obviously include making sure that their lineage is furthered, no matter whether you or your spouse are still struggling to strike a balance with the career, finances and establishing a lifestyle ready for kids in general.

Certainly, there are some good points to what our parents/in-laws say regarding having kids early enough in our lives. One must acknowledge that fertility only goes downwards with age, and the sooner you start the more energy you will have to go through various phases your kids’ life from diaper-days to having your own grandkids.

But no matter what everyone says, your kids are going to be ultimately your responsibility. It’s very much necessary to evaluate the situation with your partner, without giving into the pressures from your “well-wishers” in India.

I tried to put together a few things one should consider while making this decision. Here they go:

One of the most important concerns for NRI parents is the clash between the culture they grew up in and the culture their kids are growing up.  While there is always some extent of generation-gap between parents and kids, the conditions in which we grew up and the conditions in which our kids are going to grow up are literally worlds apart for some of us. Luckily with changing times in India, many of us are okay with things like dating etc. when it come to our children. However, even the most liberal of us may not be comfortable with things like super short-term relationships, goth tattoos, and body piercing etc. 
They key steps in maintaining a parent-child relationship comfortable for you, and safe for your teenage kids are: understanding your kids (their changing interests, associated risks etc.), giving them enough freedom so that they can trust you when you say something is not good for them, not over-protecting or over-criticizing them, and finally stop fantacizing that things were perfect in the Indian culture that you grew up with. To elaborate a little more below: 

• When you are raising your children in US, expect them to grow up with a predominantly american mindset. The only additional goals you can probably have are trying make them aware of Indian culture and some of the good things in it so that they can relate to rest of your family, and trying to keep them away from some of the bad things in western culture like drugs etc.  

• Make your kids understand that freedom comes with responsibility. For example, you may give them permission to hangout with their friends at the mall, but it's their responsibility to be careful when they are out side and come back home  in time. 

• Try to get you children interested in Indian culture and traditions from the early childhood itself so that they can identify themselves with it. Never try to force them into something they are not interested in or something they think is not at all relevant to their circumstances. 

• One of values in Indian culture has been embracing the diversity. Keep that in mind, and try to raise your children as responsible individuals who appreciate Indian culture, rather than as kids forced to do all things Indian in their childhood, and are looking to rebel once they become old enough. 

These are all my opinions. Please let us know what others think regarding this issue, via comments below. 
 

If you are planning to have a baby, having a good health insurance plan is one of the most important things. You will need the insurance for your pre-natal visits, maternity care, delivery, pediatric visits, immunizations for the baby etc. 
If you are not well equipped with a good health insurance plan, you can end up with huge medical bills, which may lead to lots of worried during those special days. 
Here are some questions that you should ask about your health insurance plan before you even start your first visits to your doctor: 
Questions to ask about prenatal and maternity care coverage:
Before you set up your first obstetrician or midwife appointment, it's smart to figure out what your health insurance will (and won't) cover. Get the answers to the following questions from your company's benefits department or through your health insurance plan's customer service hotline:

Probably there are a thousand articles in the internet on this topic. However, things have changed significantly over the last few years, and it's not the simple "Kids will grow up with better cultural values in India, but the life style in the US is better" argument anymore. 
Here are a few things that come to my mind: 
Pro-US:

• Things like dating and casual relationships have become more common in India, so we may face the similar issues in both India and the US in terms of dealing with the generation-gap 10 years from today. 

• With lot more Indians in the US now than a decade ago, second generation Indian's may not feel that they are out-of place any more. 

• Given the immense competition and issues like reservations in the Indian education system, it might be easier for parents to send their kids to good colleges in the US than in India. 

Pro-India: 
 

• You and your kids are 100% not out of place. 

• Kids will grow up with cousins, grand-parents and over all with better family relations.

• With so much economic development and high salaries in India, things like schooling, college etc. might be more affordable in India if you can get a good job. 

• If you want to retire in India, it might be better to move before your children grow up so that they will also be closer to you when you are old. 

What do other people think ?